If that was your dad, he is hot
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
