i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize