The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
