Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
