I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
