jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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