is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
