The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
