Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do herpes really smell.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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