I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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