I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
