Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
it was like eating out sand paper
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
