just tell him i said nine months
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
