Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i've created a new STD.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
