this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
