I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
