she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
