Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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