Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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