U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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