moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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