She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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