I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
