I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
NoShamevember. You game?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
