Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize