You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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