Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
