And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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