Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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