We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you had me at cake vodka
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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