And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
