Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
