i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
