My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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