I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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