Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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