they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
