New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
