ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just found a bag of teeth...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
