I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
