Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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