she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
