How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
