feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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