i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize