you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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