im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
