I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
