somebody snuck up and got me drunk
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
we're so committed to being not committed
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
