I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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