just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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