I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
