Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
