maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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