i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
