(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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