He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
