isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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