hotel room ftw
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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