i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
