Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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