Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
