omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
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