she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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