we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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