All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
