My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
