Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So vagazzling was a success
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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