Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize