Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
