do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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