my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize