this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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