You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
