Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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