well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
